STORY-FEAR

I  did not want to marry, but a bad dream frightened me . In the nightmare, I was surrounded by ferocious dogs, all trying to pounce on me; a young girl drove them awy.

Sweat was flowing all over my body, when I woke up. Ma came running to my bed:”What happened?” I held her arm tightly in my hands and wept:”Nothing Ma; it was just a frightening dream.”. She slept with me in my bed, embracing me tightly in her arms.  As in my childhood, I slept comforted by her presence. I was twenty five and employed in a match factory, as Manager. Ma was telling me to marry, but somehow, I feared marriage also. I have seen friends, being mercilessly scolded by their wives, ignoring my presence. Now, I finally made the decision to marry.

Ma knew many families, she being an LIC agent. We went to see a girl. She is not educated but knew how to run the house.

It was an old house, with half a dozen girls of marriageable age. The eldest is my girl, aged twenty . She is extremely charming and slim. She could sing, her father said.

I did not demand any dowry or gold. How does the poor father manage all this crowd of females?, I wondered.

We spent the money for the simple feast. Ma was the manger of the show. Father died early and Ma was everything.

In the night I sat in the bed shyly looking towards the door, which opened noiselessly and the maiden appeared, smiling and with a glass of milk. I rtok some milk and gave her the rest, as demanded by tradition.

She gladly came and sat beside me:”I am uneducated. Do you feel unhappy about it?”

“Why? I am not running a school. I want you only.”  I put out the lamp and she did respond eagerly.

When we returned to her house, all her sisters crowded us. Some of them spoke English fluently. I saw a tinge of jealousy in my wife’s eyes and soon began talking to her father. He is a learned person, who worked as a teacher, before he became ill with asthma. He found it difficult to talk.

I took them all to a film. In the night, we slept in a small room and the next day returned home.

The girl brought me luck. Our factory produced good results and I got offers for managing other match factories too. My success was in maintaining good relations with the labour. They have problems and needs. I heard them patiently. I encouraged my wife to come and sit with me; women talked to her confidentially. I formed a fund for giving aid to them for marriage, house building loans etc.  My wife was happy that she could be useful , though uneducated.:”It is important to be sympathetic. Education is not so important; we learn from life.

Ma has only one grouse-we have no children. She has offered vazhipadu in various temples, near and far.

A sister of my wife, named Sarada completed her MA and approached me for help in finding a job. Her elders have all managed something, at least as sales girls She expected a better job, being MA. I wished to have another factory in the city and sounded some of my friends in this industry. Finally,  a unit was opened at Palakad and Sarada was appointed the Manager.  As she is new, I decided to stay there for some months. It was during this period that my wife began to doubt my fidelity. “Now I am old and unable to give you a baby; isn’t it?” she fumed. I tried my best, to explain things and failed. It was my first set back, after marriage.  I cannot think of divorce, because she is unemployed.

My relations with Sarada became thick, in inverse proportion to that of my wife.  I was in real straits and told Sarada about my plight.

“Every man has his rights too. Wife is not supreme. Her infertility is enough ground for separation, not necessarily divorce. You can give her maintenance. There is no injustice in it. I shall talk to my father and your Maji” I was consoled to some extent.

Sarada asked me:”In case of separation, will you consider my request for union with you?” I looked at her for some time and held out my hand. She shook it firmly and kissed it.